Thinking...

I know this is kind of long...I am sorry about that. I had to get it out cause it was really bothering me.

Service today was great!! It was all about hope and I was reminded that God is bigger than anything that I will ever struggle with!! I have been struggling alot here lately with a certain desire. It is not a bad desire it is something that God has placed in our hearts and I am just not being patient enough I guess!! But, today I realized that no how much I struggle with that God is there and he will give me the desires of my heart as long as I wait upon him and don't try to rush things.

I also have been doing alot of thinking here lately about a situation in my life. I was talking to someone from church tonight and they made me stop and think. I began to realize what I wanted and what I don't want. I just wish some people could know exactly what they want!!! I realized in talking tonight that I am tired of this situation. It drives me crazy and in some ways controls my life!! I really feel like it has been going on for way to long and many times I don't know what to do about it anymore. I mean I try to think logically, I have prayed about it, I have gotten advice from many Godly people, and it still seems like I have no answer. I have got a big decision to make and I can't make it alone!! I know that I have got to do alot of praying and really listen and seek God because I don't want to make the wrong decision either way! I want God's will and I don't want my wants to interfere with what God wants for my life. I know that if it is not God's will that it is going to hurt me to make the decision, but it will be better and I will be much happier in the long run. If it is God's will, then I am gonna have to pray for more patience because I sometimes don't know how I can take the situation much longer. I am trying not to let my emotions and thoughts get in the way of praying about this decision, but that is EXTREMELY hard to do. I know that several of you probably know what I am talking about and I wish I could go into more detail, but I am being vague for several reasons. If you guys could just keep me in your prayers I would really appreciate it!!